Talk Kink ~ BDSM Humor

If you have friends in the BDSM world and you call them up and their voicemail says they’re all tied up, do not call right back. 

If you have a male friend in the BDSM world and he brags that his wife has a red ass, even though you may wonder why he is so happy she is mad, don’t ask.

Why wannabes can’t read? Their little head only has one eye and it is usually draining.

If you have a male lifestyle friend who is passive, and eager to please he is not pussy whipped, but wants to be whipped with a single tail.

When your Dom has you on orgasm denial, remember orgasms are like chocolate chips cookies; if no one sees you have one, it doesn’t count. Fuck it! When you need one you need one. 

Never flirt with another sub’s Dominant unless you want to do his cooking, cleaning, and laundry.

A sub’s wardrobe never needs to be sent to the cleaners, high heels can’t be dry cleaned.

What do call a sub that has free time? Unclaimed

You know you are a submissive, when you are disappointed that your Dom brings home a new leash, and it’s for the dog and not for you.

You might be a switch if you don’t know which end is up, but you want to be the top and the bottom.

Unleash Yourself,
Shey